By Derek Kosmicki

Madison, Wis. National Basketball Association Commissioner David Stern announced today that beginning with the 2006-2007 season, the University of Wisconsin will act as the official developmental team for the NBA.

It is a surprising move considering all of the recent money poured into the fledgling NBDL (National Basketball Developmental League).

However, Stern pointed to the success of Bo Ryan’s players in the NBA as the main reason the change was made. Statistics show that playing at UW for 3 years and getting drafted guarantees getting to play in the NBA Finals within 2 years.

“What other coach has 100% of his draft picks playing in the NBA Finals this year?” exclaimed Stern.

The answer to that would be none. Devin Harris is playing in the Finals with the Dallas Mavericks in just his second year in the league.

In fact, playing for Ryan also appears to guarantee getting drafted very early. Of the players that have been drafted under Ryan, none have been drafted lower than 5th. Harris was drafted the lowest by Washington as the 5th pick in 2004. He was then traded to Dallas.

“Well, you know, people will say that, and look; People are going to say what they’re going to say. So I just, look, Devin is a great player,” explained Ryan.

“If you want to say the reason he’s there is because of UW, then well, you know, that’s what you guys do. You say things and write things about basketball. That’s your job. My job is to coach it. And I just happen to be really good at it.”

Commissioner Stern was also excited about the type of players that Ryan develops.

“When you look at the players that Bo is turning out, you can’t help but realize that this is what the NBA needs,” said Stern.

“100% of Bo Ryan draft picks actually play defense,” said Stern. “Do you know how long its been since defense was played in the NBA? Not since short-shorts!”

“The University of Wisconsin will be where the future superstars will develop. It’s the only place possible. Where else would they come from, Maryland?” asked NBA Legend Bill Walton.

No, certainly not. In fact, Maryland actually leads the collegiate ranks in percentage of drafted players that actually die within 48 hours of being drafted. Len Bias died of a drug-overdose in 1986.

“Got a death wish, go to the ACC,” said Walton. “Want to star in the NBA in 2 years or less, go to Wisconsin.”

“It’s a breeding ground,” continued Walton. “When I think Wisconsin I now think 2 things: Cheese and NBA Basketball Superstars.”

Since Bo Ryan, 2-time Big Ten Coach of the Year, took over for Wisconsin at the beginning of the 2001 season, winning has become expected. And that success has made high-school recruits take notice

Tony Johnson, a highly touted recruit in the 2009 class, has been calling UW for the past several months to show his interest.

“I was getting calls from North Carolina every other day. But what percentage of players from North Carolina that got drafted last year are playing in the Finals? 0 percent” said Johnson.

“Plus, who wants to play for a douche bag like Roy Williams anyway?”